Aug 2nd 2013, 15:02:06
GREETINGS, INFERIOR BEINGS!
DUE TO THE TIMING OF THE NEXT RESET STARTING, WE HAVE HAD TO MAKE SOME ORGANIZATIONAL ADJUSTMENTS IN THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! YOU SEE, ONCE A YEAR, MY BROTHER SAM ESCHEWS TECHNOLOGY AND WANDERS INTO THE WILDERNESS TO COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND TO PONDER THE WAYS OF VIOLENT PACIFISM! AS IT HAPPENS, THIS YEAR HIS SEMI-RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE COINCIDES WITH THE START OF THE NEW RESET!!
DURING THE BRIEF PERIOD IN WHICH SAM IS WITHOUT ACCESS TO DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS, THE FOLLOWING THINGS WILL HAPPEN:
1: I WILL ASSUME THE ROLE OF SUPREME OVERLORD OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! YOU SHALL DEAL WITH ME IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! REST ASSURED THAT I WILL BE FAIR AND BRUTAL, AND WILL TRY TO MAKE YOUR EXECUTION AS HUMANE AS POSSIBLE!
2: SAM AND I WILL STAY IN INTERMITTENT CONTACT THROUGH THE USE OF SMOKE SIGNALS, SO THAT HE MAY FILL AN ADVISORY ROLE - I AM STILL DECIDING WHAT HIS NEW TITLE WILL BE!
3: WHEN HE RETURNS ABOUT THREE DAYS INTO THE RESET, I'LL BE SO SICK OF DEALING WITH YOU MOUTH BREATHERS THAT I WILL RELINQUISH THE POSITION OF SUPREME OVERLORD!
NOW, YOU SHOULD KNOW, THINGS ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE! SAM HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE PATIENT ONE AND THE DIPLOMAT, WHEREAS I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A TEMPER! I WILL RULE WITH AN IRON FIST AND A FLACCID SPLEEN! NOW THAT I HAVE SEIZED CONTROL OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! WE WILL BE REAFFIRMING OUR COMMITMENT TO THE WAYS OF VIOLENT PACIFISM (VP), AND PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY, STARTING A DOOR-TO-DOOR EVANGELIZING PROGRAM! WE WILL DECIDE WHOM TO VISIT BASED ON OUR EVALUATION OF ADHERENCE TO THE WAYS OF VP! THOSE WHO DEMONSTRATE A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING WILL RECEIVE, FREE OF CHARGE, A PERSONAL SEMINAR GUARANTEED TO OPEN EYES, MINDS, HEARTS, AND VEINS!
SINCE SAM IS UNABLE TO CONFIRM AT THIS POINT, I HAVE SELECTED JER BU AS HIS ALTERNATE! JER BU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ALONG TO CONFIRM SHORTLY!
HA!
BILL DANGER
SUPREME OVERLORD
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!
DUE TO THE TIMING OF THE NEXT RESET STARTING, WE HAVE HAD TO MAKE SOME ORGANIZATIONAL ADJUSTMENTS IN THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! YOU SEE, ONCE A YEAR, MY BROTHER SAM ESCHEWS TECHNOLOGY AND WANDERS INTO THE WILDERNESS TO COMMUNE WITH NATURE AND TO PONDER THE WAYS OF VIOLENT PACIFISM! AS IT HAPPENS, THIS YEAR HIS SEMI-RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE COINCIDES WITH THE START OF THE NEW RESET!!
DURING THE BRIEF PERIOD IN WHICH SAM IS WITHOUT ACCESS TO DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS, THE FOLLOWING THINGS WILL HAPPEN:
1: I WILL ASSUME THE ROLE OF SUPREME OVERLORD OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! YOU SHALL DEAL WITH ME IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! REST ASSURED THAT I WILL BE FAIR AND BRUTAL, AND WILL TRY TO MAKE YOUR EXECUTION AS HUMANE AS POSSIBLE!
2: SAM AND I WILL STAY IN INTERMITTENT CONTACT THROUGH THE USE OF SMOKE SIGNALS, SO THAT HE MAY FILL AN ADVISORY ROLE - I AM STILL DECIDING WHAT HIS NEW TITLE WILL BE!
3: WHEN HE RETURNS ABOUT THREE DAYS INTO THE RESET, I'LL BE SO SICK OF DEALING WITH YOU MOUTH BREATHERS THAT I WILL RELINQUISH THE POSITION OF SUPREME OVERLORD!
NOW, YOU SHOULD KNOW, THINGS ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE! SAM HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE PATIENT ONE AND THE DIPLOMAT, WHEREAS I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A TEMPER! I WILL RULE WITH AN IRON FIST AND A FLACCID SPLEEN! NOW THAT I HAVE SEIZED CONTROL OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! WE WILL BE REAFFIRMING OUR COMMITMENT TO THE WAYS OF VIOLENT PACIFISM (VP), AND PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY, STARTING A DOOR-TO-DOOR EVANGELIZING PROGRAM! WE WILL DECIDE WHOM TO VISIT BASED ON OUR EVALUATION OF ADHERENCE TO THE WAYS OF VP! THOSE WHO DEMONSTRATE A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING WILL RECEIVE, FREE OF CHARGE, A PERSONAL SEMINAR GUARANTEED TO OPEN EYES, MINDS, HEARTS, AND VEINS!
SINCE SAM IS UNABLE TO CONFIRM AT THIS POINT, I HAVE SELECTED JER BU AS HIS ALTERNATE! JER BU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ALONG TO CONFIRM SHORTLY!
HA!
BILL DANGER
SUPREME OVERLORD
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!