Positively a brilliant and humorous response to the notion that the
bible is the ultimate justification for any conflicting viewpoint in this
day and age.

On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take
offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors.....They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).

He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

P.S. It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian.

I predict this thread being deleted/closed. =P

That is pretty gay

Talking about stupid....

This thread is gay.

Religion is pretty gay

trife is pretty.. no, too easy, lets just stick with trife is pretty..

hmmm, Thou shalt not lie to man as you would to a woman. because it is an abomination to lie to somebody who can kick your ass. hmm, thumping my Nook might actually turn out to be fun. :-P

if there would have been a way "ttb" ( to the buttom ) i will happly use it ... 10 or 20 times.

I own a Canadian...I call her my girlfriend. I remind her every day that she is my property.

thought you didn't own her until you married her?

nah, just a gun.

we so own canada

This is a line by line direct ripoff out of an episode of "The West Wing", you are quoting Martin Sheen's character.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSXJzybEeJM

am i the only one who like it?

that response is a variant of something that has been circulating around the internet for years.
What you really need to do is have a sue-ance
:)
Also someone told me that Religious jews only object to homsexuality in males and not females.

No

actually the letter came before the episode, the show used it. It's a pretty old letter.

:P Who cares where I got it. It amused me, I thought it may amuse others.

But if I need to...this post did not intend to infringe on any yada yada yada...happy h4x? :P

Seems fair to me. The Catholics seem to take the opposite approach to that situation...

yawnnnnnnnnnnn

i thought it was hilarious.

i like it. but i'm curious as to why an Orthodox Jew is quoting from the Catholic Bible. har, har, har....