Sep 27th 2013, 8:11:43
THIS RESET, THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! HAS SEEN AN UNPRECEDENTED NUMBER OF NANCIES INTERESTED IN BECOMING SUPPLICANTS TO THE COMMITTEE OF ONE. WE HAVE DECIDED THIS MEANS THAT IT IS TIME TO FULFILL THE PROPHECIES OF THE PROPHETS AS THEY HAVE PROPHESIED THEM TO BE! FOR IT IS WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF EXPLOSIONS, CHAPTER 12, VERSES 8 THROUGH 52:
"VERILY I SHALL SEND AGAINST THEE, MANY AGGRESSORS FOR THEE TO SMITE. AND WHEN THOU HAST FINISHED SMITING THEM, I SHALL SEND MORE, UNTIL THOU SAYEST UNTO ME, 'WE ARE TIRED OF SMITING!' THEN SHALL I RAISE UP THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! TO MY RIGHT HAND. AND THE COMMITTEE SHALL STAND IN DAZZLING RAIMENTS WITH THUMBS AKIMBO ATOP A ROILING VOLCANO OF BRACKISH FURY! AND THE AGGRESSORS SHALL SAY 'WOE IS US! FOR WE DID NOT KNOW THE TERRIBLE FURY OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! HAVE MERCY ON US!' BUT I SHALL NOT HAVE MERCY! MY HEART SHALL BE AS HARD AS STONE, AND YOU SHALL TAKE FROM THEM THEIR SPLEENS, AND THE SPLEENS OF THEIR JACKASSES. AND ALSO THE SPLEENS OF THEIR MANSERVANTS! THEN SHALL ALL KNOW THE IMMENSENESS OF MY DESTRUCTIVITY, AND PEACE SHALL REIGN FOR A TIME, TWO TIMES, AND HALF A TIME!"
WE HAVE INTERPRETED THIS SCRIPTURE TO MEAN THAT WE ARE NOW MEANT TO INCREASE OUR NUMBERS TO EITHER 8, OR 52. NOTHING LESS, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING IN BETWEEN! AS WE HAVE TIRED OF SMITING, THE PATH OF VIOLENT PACIFISM NOW LEADS US INEXORABLY TO THIS CONCLUSION.
SO NOW IS YOUR CHANCE! WE ARE RELAXING OUR STANDARDS EVER SO SLIGHTLY, AND IF YOU ARE AMONG THE FIRST TWO WHO ARE NOT REJECTED BY THE COMMITTEE, YOU CAN FINALLY REALIZE YOUR POTENTIAL! AND IF YOU ARE NOT AMONG THOSE FIRST TWO, BUT THERE ARE 44 MORE, AND YOU ARE NOT DEEMED UNWORTHY, THEN YOU TOO MAY TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN HISTORY.
IN THE PAST WE HAVE DEMANDED THAT APPLICANTS SEND ALL GROVELLING TO OUR EMAIL, . HOWEVER, WE HAVE FOUND THAT WE TIRE OF CHECKING THIS ADDRESS, SO NOW WE HAVE ALSO RELAXED THIS RESTRICTION! IT'S PRACTICALLY A FREE FOR ALL OVER HERE! NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO SUBMIT YOURSELF TO OUR RIDICULE IS TO SEND A FORUM PM TO EITHER MYSELF, CHUCK_DANGER, OR BILL_DANGER. I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND MESSAGING BILL THOUGH.
TIME IS SHORT! ALL APPLICANTS MUST BE REVIEWED BEFORE THE FIFTH HOUR OF THE SECOND DAY OF NEXT RESET. WE LOOK FORWARD TO REJECTING YOU!
HA!
SAM
SPIRITUAL GUIDE,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!
"VERILY I SHALL SEND AGAINST THEE, MANY AGGRESSORS FOR THEE TO SMITE. AND WHEN THOU HAST FINISHED SMITING THEM, I SHALL SEND MORE, UNTIL THOU SAYEST UNTO ME, 'WE ARE TIRED OF SMITING!' THEN SHALL I RAISE UP THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! TO MY RIGHT HAND. AND THE COMMITTEE SHALL STAND IN DAZZLING RAIMENTS WITH THUMBS AKIMBO ATOP A ROILING VOLCANO OF BRACKISH FURY! AND THE AGGRESSORS SHALL SAY 'WOE IS US! FOR WE DID NOT KNOW THE TERRIBLE FURY OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! HAVE MERCY ON US!' BUT I SHALL NOT HAVE MERCY! MY HEART SHALL BE AS HARD AS STONE, AND YOU SHALL TAKE FROM THEM THEIR SPLEENS, AND THE SPLEENS OF THEIR JACKASSES. AND ALSO THE SPLEENS OF THEIR MANSERVANTS! THEN SHALL ALL KNOW THE IMMENSENESS OF MY DESTRUCTIVITY, AND PEACE SHALL REIGN FOR A TIME, TWO TIMES, AND HALF A TIME!"
WE HAVE INTERPRETED THIS SCRIPTURE TO MEAN THAT WE ARE NOW MEANT TO INCREASE OUR NUMBERS TO EITHER 8, OR 52. NOTHING LESS, NOTHING MORE, NOTHING IN BETWEEN! AS WE HAVE TIRED OF SMITING, THE PATH OF VIOLENT PACIFISM NOW LEADS US INEXORABLY TO THIS CONCLUSION.
SO NOW IS YOUR CHANCE! WE ARE RELAXING OUR STANDARDS EVER SO SLIGHTLY, AND IF YOU ARE AMONG THE FIRST TWO WHO ARE NOT REJECTED BY THE COMMITTEE, YOU CAN FINALLY REALIZE YOUR POTENTIAL! AND IF YOU ARE NOT AMONG THOSE FIRST TWO, BUT THERE ARE 44 MORE, AND YOU ARE NOT DEEMED UNWORTHY, THEN YOU TOO MAY TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN HISTORY.
IN THE PAST WE HAVE DEMANDED THAT APPLICANTS SEND ALL GROVELLING TO OUR EMAIL, . HOWEVER, WE HAVE FOUND THAT WE TIRE OF CHECKING THIS ADDRESS, SO NOW WE HAVE ALSO RELAXED THIS RESTRICTION! IT'S PRACTICALLY A FREE FOR ALL OVER HERE! NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO SUBMIT YOURSELF TO OUR RIDICULE IS TO SEND A FORUM PM TO EITHER MYSELF, CHUCK_DANGER, OR BILL_DANGER. I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND MESSAGING BILL THOUGH.
TIME IS SHORT! ALL APPLICANTS MUST BE REVIEWED BEFORE THE FIFTH HOUR OF THE SECOND DAY OF NEXT RESET. WE LOOK FORWARD TO REJECTING YOU!
HA!
SAM
SPIRITUAL GUIDE,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!