Man, the paris you guys talk about is different from the one I know.

There are a couple of things you should know. The first thing is that for many americans(and Canadians) it is the first culture-vacation they will ever take. Many treat it as one and have a terrible time. Why? Cause generally, culture is lame or condescending. Another thing to know is that if you don't speak french that learning, or even attempting to learn a few phrases will do you wonders. My wife's a Quebecker so no one in paris understands her, but I did a class or two of high school French and everyone brightens up when they hear me butcher their language.

Here is a list of things I've done:

1)Eat and get drunk at all hours of the day.

Food and wine are what the French take pride in and they do it for good reason. Where's your hotel? I normally stay in the 'way out there' 17th. It's two train stops from the Champs Elysees and I love it. There's tons of food, few tourists, and lotsa local haunts in walking distance. Hungry at 4am? Time to go out and get pie. Hungry at midnight? Try rare duck breast at a cafe. Thirsty at 7am? Get drunk. My wife's favourite sub $100 dinner is this little crapshack that only serves this thin stew and bread spread with bone marrow. Mmmmmm.

2)Museums and stuff

Ok ok, culture is lame. But GO TO THE LOUVRE, there's some awesome stuff in this world. I have a picture of me licking the Stella of Hammurabi. I get to tell people, yah that's me, licking a 6000 year old set of laws. I always find the da vinci exhibit filled with Japanese taking flash photography though. Drives me nuts. But I've been to the Louvre 4 times now and can't wait to go again.

Musee d'Orsay - Everyone says it's amazing but paintings don't get me going.

3)Eiffel Tower
LAAAAAAMMMMEEE. Take a picture, then find a restaurant with a few and have some wine. The Eiffel tower is filled with angry too many tourists shoehorned in.

4)Rheims
It's a quick train ride outside of Paris. It has a stellar cathedral, but more important, it is the centre of the Champagne region. Take a tour through the chalk caverns carved by the romans that they age champagne in. After getting culturally acquainted proceed to drink a lot. The champagne is reasonably priced and plentiful. Last time I was there I missed my train back to paris and spent 6 hours at a bar in front of the train station experiencing the culture of france(ie. getting drunk).

Anyways, I actually love paris if you want some recommendations tailored to you just pm me. Paris isn't everything to everyone, but it can be a lot of fun, or a lot of romantic, or a lot like reading a non fiction book. you just need to be ready to enjoy it.