Sep 17th 2013, 3:48:29
FOR THE MORE CLUELESS AMONG YOU WHO ARE WONDERING WHAT JUST HAPPENED, ALLOW US TO EXPLAIN!
OUR ESTEEMED SUPPLICANT JOE WAS STRUCK BY A RAGER WHO DID NOT BUILD ANY OF THE ACRES HE GAINED FROM HIS AGGRESSION. INFURIATED, THE COMMITTEE OF ONE SENT ME TO NEGOTIATE THE TERMS FOR RAGE'S SURRENDER. WE PROMPTLY POINTED FDF IN THE DIRECTINON OF OUR PROMINENTLY POSTED "RETAL POLICY" WHICH HAS BEEN UP ON THE EARTH WIKI FOR NEARLY TWO WEEKS (!) NOW. WE HAVE INCLUDED IT AS THE INITIAL POST IN THIS THREAD FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT YOU ARE LAZY!
INSTEAD OF COWERING IN OUR PRESENCE AS IS CUSTOMARY, FDF INFORMED US THAT RAGE ONLY ALLOWS 1:1 RETALIATORY STRIKES. WE WERE NOT PARTICULARLY FOND OF THIS, BUT AFTER TALKING FOR A WHILE, WE MAGNANIMOUSLY AGREED TO ONLY TAKE ONE RIGHTEOUS DEFENSIVE ACTION. EVEN THOUGH JOE GAINED NOTHING FROM HIS RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE, AND SUFFERED THE MINOR SETBACK OF HAVING TO REBUILD HIS RECLAIMED ACRES, WE DECIDED TO END IT THERE.
AND HOW WAS OUR LENIENCY REPAID? ANOTHER STRIKE ON JOE BY A RAGER, IN A FLAGRANT CONTRAVENTION OF RAGE'S OWN "ROR" POLICY, LESS THAN 48 HOURS AFTER JOE HAD LIBERATED HIS ACRES FROM THE FIRST AGGRESSOR.
THE FIRST ACTION WAS EXCUSABLE, AS RAGE WERE NOT AWARE OF OUR POLICIES. NOT SO FOR THE SECOND ACT OF UNPROVOKED AGGRESSION.
NO MORE RAGERS WILL BE HARMED IF THIS ENDS HERE, AND IF RAGE AGREES TO RECOGNIZE THE NON EXPLOSION PACT WHICH WE SO GRACIOUSLY GRANTED THEM UPON THEIR REEMERGENCE! WE DO NOT WISH TO HARM THOSE WHO HAVE NOT HARMED US. ANY FURTHER ACTIONS (MILITARY OR SPY) AGAINST THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! BY RAGE AFTER THE POSTING OF THIS MESSAGE WILL BE CONSIDERED A DECLARATION OF WAR AND WILL BE DEALT WITH ACCORDINGLY.
WE EAGERLY AWAIT THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF YOUR CAPITULATION. YOU HAVE 23.7 HOURS FROM THE TIME OF THIS POST TO COMPLY.
OH, AND BEFORE ANY OF YOU NEURALLY CHALLENGED NANCIES GET ANY BRIGHT IDEAS, LAF WILL BE POLICING FOR THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! UNTIL WE RECEIVE RAGE'S CAPITULATION, OR UNTIL WE STOP FIGHTING IF IT SHOULD COME TO THAT!
HA!
SAM
CHAMPION OF THE EUGLAF DIVISION,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!
