RED-X!
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE EXTREMELY SLOW RESPONSE! I AM VERY CONFUSED BY YOUR POST, AND HAVE SPENT THE LAST MONTH TRYING TO DECIPHER IT. SO ALL-CONSUMING WAS THIS MYSTERY FOR ME THAT I DID NOT EVEN CREATE A SECOND RESTART COUNTRY!
AND I STILL HAVE NOT FIGURED IT OUT! WHO EXACTLY IS "THE HATED?" IS IT WE, THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!, WHO ARE THE HATED? OR DO YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE "THE HATED"?
IF THE LATTER IS THE CASE, I ASSURE YOU THAT YOU ARE INCORRECT. I HOPE THAT THIS VIDEO WILL HELP YOU TO BETTER UNDERSTAND OUR FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i28UEoLXVFQ
AS I SING ALONG MELANCHOLICALLY WITH TOM KEIFER, I CANNOT HELP BUT THINK BACK TO ALL THE TIMES WE SHARED. I ALSO CANNOT HELP BUT WONDER, HOW DID THEY GET A GRAND PIANO ONTO THAT BEACH? THOSE CLIFFS ARE VERY TALL AND JAGGED! AT FIRST I THOUGHT PERHAPS THEY BROUGHT IT IN BY BOAT, BUT THE BAY THERE LOOKS QUITE SHALLOW! AND IF THEY HAD USED A HELICOPTER, WOULDN'T THE SAND BE MORE DISTURBED THAN IT IS? AND PIANOS ARE VERY HEAVY! HOW DO THE LEGS NOT SINK INTO THE SAND? THAT MUST BE A MAGIC PIANO!! PERHAPS MAGIC SAND! THAT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT!
BUT I DIGRESS! AS I MENTIONED, THIS SONG MAKES ME REMEMBER ALL OF OUR WONDERFUL CHATS. THE ALL NIGHT DISCUSSIONS ABOUT EVERYTHING FROM THE COMBUSTIBILITY OF JELLO PUDDING POPS, TO THE BEST METHOD FOR GETTING A TURTLE BLOOD STAIN OUT OF YOUR UNDERWEAR.. HOW MANY OF YOU NOW READING THIS KNEW THE TRUE ORIGIN OF RED-X'S NAME BEFORE TODAY? I'LL BET NOT MANY!
REMEMBER OUR EPIC, DAYS-LONG ARGUMENTS, LIKE WHETHER OR NOT PLANT FERTILIZER WILL HELP AQUARIUM FISH GROW? YOU CERTAINLY WERE PROVEN RIGHT ON THAT ONE! MISTER FINS THE ONE-EYED PLECOSTOMUS IS SORELY MISSED, BUT SUCH IS THE UNENDING CIRCLE OF LIFE. AND HE WAS DELICIOUS!
ETCHED FOREVER INTO MY MEMORY IS THE DAY YOU CALLED ME, INCONSOLABLE ABOUT THE TRAGIC DEATH OF REGINALD, YOUR BELOVED PET RUTABAGA, IN A FREAK TILLING ACCIDENT. DESPAIR PIERCED MY SOUL AS YOU TOLD YOUR GUILT-RIDDEN STORY OF HOW THAT MERCILESS TINE FIRST IMPALED REGINALD, THEN SPUN HIM WILDLY, ALTERNATELY ABOVE GROUND, AND THEN BELOW. "AAAAHHHHmmmphpnnhphAAAAAHHHHHmpmmmnpjmmmHELLLLpmnjj" IT WAS ALL I COULD DO TO HOLD BACK TEARS AS YOU TOLD OF HOW HIS LEAVES AND LIFE-JUICES SPLATTERED YOUR HORRIFIED FACE, AND OF HIS POIGNANT LAST WORDS AS HE LAY DYING IN YOUR ARMS: "DUDE, WTF!?"
I REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY! YOU WERE SOBBING,PLAYING "TOURNIQUET" (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO_3nArjlOU ) ON A LOOP, AND TALKING ABOUT HOW MEAINGLESS YOUR LIFE WAS WITHOUT REGGIE. I SHUDDER TO THINK WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED IF BILL HADN'T RUSHED TO YOUR HOUSE WITH A KOHLRABI TO FILL THE EMPTY VOID IN YOUR HEART. HOW IS KRISTOFER, BY THE WAY? I HOPE THAT HE IS WELL, AND STILL PROVIDING YOU WITH ENDLESS HOURS OF COMPANIONSHIP AND GAMES OF ONE-WAY FETCH.
AND WHO COULD FORGET OUR ILL-FATED ROAD TRIP TO AMERICAN SAMOA! IF YOU HAD NOT BLUDGEONED THAT MOOSE TO DEATH WITH YOUR UKELELE, WE WOULD SURELY ALL HAVE STARVED TO DEATH. WHAT A WEEK THAT WAS!
THESE MEMORIES ARE ALL SO BITTERSWEET FOR ME! LIKE CHEWABLE CHOCOLATE COATED IPECAC TABLETS, THEY MAKE ME CHOKE UNCONTROLLABLY! CAN'T WE FIND OUR WAY BACK TO THE GOOD TIMES? TO THE BROTHERLY LOVE THAT WE ONCE HELD FOR EACH OTHER? OH HOW I WISH IT COULD BE.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH, DEAR FRIEND!
HA!
SAM
POURING CRIMSON REGRET,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!
